after one and a half year of not opening the folder of us, i opened it today
i see her smile and it makes me sad, how did i lost traction of everything so fast and so bad.
i try to start over again, but I cant get it out of my head. what have i done, how could that happen.
I wanna apologize to her, if i do this though i will bring everything up - i wanna contact her,
i just don’t know how. i don’t wanna make her mad for me contacting her. every time i tried she cried.
i got back to my mum, things started to get up again, i look on the date. 2years ago…
her smile made me happy, i loved showing people that she is with me, she was such a beauty.
she lost her smile, she changed. how could that happen - why haven’t I’ve seen myself change.
i have seen her as a usual person that always be with me, she would never leave, and if we wouldn’t b together, we would b friends and tell each other about our days. i remember crying bc i couldn’t see her because of the distance, now im way further away from her than i would have ever thought.
I see pictures right now of our first meetup - she jumped in my arms, she smiled, and we both where happy to finally see Each other, i met so many of my “online friends” that day, no one of those “friends” are here anymore. i wanna tell her everything, without her becoming mad - i think about texting an old email of her with an temp-mail, so i wont b able to see the response, that would be so selfish though. i ask myself what her parents think of me now, I’ve disappointed all of them.
it took me almost 45min to write that and cry my eyes out - getting my shit together again etc.
thanks for listening - i am now feeling a tiny bit better. Hear from you soon.
i looked so happy in those pictures…
i see her smile and it makes me sad, how did i lost traction of everything so fast and so bad.
i try to start over again, but I cant get it out of my head. what have i done, how could that happen.
I wanna apologize to her, if i do this though i will bring everything up - i wanna contact her,
i just don’t know how. i don’t wanna make her mad for me contacting her. every time i tried she cried.
i got back to my mum, things started to get up again, i look on the date. 2years ago…
her smile made me happy, i loved showing people that she is with me, she was such a beauty.
she lost her smile, she changed. how could that happen - why haven’t I’ve seen myself change.
i have seen her as a usual person that always be with me, she would never leave, and if we wouldn’t b together, we would b friends and tell each other about our days. i remember crying bc i couldn’t see her because of the distance, now im way further away from her than i would have ever thought.
I see pictures right now of our first meetup - she jumped in my arms, she smiled, and we both where happy to finally see Each other, i met so many of my “online friends” that day, no one of those “friends” are here anymore. i wanna tell her everything, without her becoming mad - i think about texting an old email of her with an temp-mail, so i wont b able to see the response, that would be so selfish though. i ask myself what her parents think of me now, I’ve disappointed all of them.
it took me almost 45min to write that and cry my eyes out - getting my shit together again etc.
thanks for listening - i am now feeling a tiny bit better. Hear from you soon.
i looked so happy in those pictures…
